Thanksgiving 2010

In the first couple of years after I got divorced (back in 1990-1991), I remember the feeling of freedom that came from having NO obligations to spend Thanksgiving with family. I had a day to spend any way I liked. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family and I love to spend time with them. There’s just a difference between doing so because you want to and because you have to. (There’s a lesson in that!)

The first year, I took a long walk at Blue Hill, our closest “mountain” just south of Boston – it was a mile from bottom to top; not a bad hike, and very beautiful. The air was crisp, the last of the foliage was mostly brown, clinging here and there to bare branches, but mostly crunching under my feet. I’ll never forget it. I was in love with the world.

The second year, I was volunteering on a suicide hotline and had chosen to work the overnight on Wednesday night. By the time I got home, I just wanted to sleep, and that’s just what I did. I awoke at 4 in the afternoon, paid a visit to my children, and had a pretty calm day.

Today – 20 years later – feels like that. Avery has gone to his parents. I had made no plans with my kids, although I suspect we’ll be in touch at some point. In fact, I made no plans at all, aside from a day to myself to write, to get caught up on some things, to cook roasted vegetables, and to just be lazy and hang out.

The next two days will be busy at the store, and I’m looking forward to being busy at the store for a change.

Today, however, is a day for me.

I already put the vegetables in the oven, sprinkled with fresh rosemary, thyme, and sage. I included whole garlic cloves. The aroma is wonderful. I’m not even hungry, but I like the cozy feeling of the scents of cooking. If I feel like it, I may go out later, get a can of low-fat cream of mushroom soup and make myself a fresh green bean casserole. But, only if I feel like it.

Ah, this is the life.

And I am grateful.