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Be Who You Are and Use Your Voice

December 12, 2011

Confession time. I have not been totally honest. I have been withholding some of my most fervently-held beliefs from others for fear of being judged, put down, and persecuted by those who do not really understand me.

I did it as a form of self-protection. Why would I expose myself to someone else’s inconsiderate judgements unnecessarily, especially since I know that I have little to offer that would change their minds.

I recently read a book called The God Virus, by Darrel Ray, and I learned from that book that any attempts I make to defend my position against those who have a “religious perspective” would be met with more vehement opposition. Sad, really.

But I am tired of living half a life. I am tired of living without screaming my most fervent message from the highest hills. Oh, I do share it, in safe little quotes and links to articles, but the truth is, THIS IS WHO I AM!

This post scares the crap out of me, because I am coming clean. How can I be all that I am meant to be in the world if I don’t come clean here?

Those that really know me, know what I am about to say. Those that only know the image I project may be surprised, but here goes.

When I was 16 years old, I realized that I am Bi-sexual. I am as attracted to females as to males. When I first told some of my female friends, they stopped being my friend. My MALE friends all wanted to see me “do it” with another woman. *sigh* This discovery led me down many paths and I learned many truths about the essence of all of us – it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you do…. we all not only DESERVE love, we ARE love. At the essence of our beings, we are either looking for love, or loving, all of the time.

It’s true that we are attracted to some people more than others, and we want to hang out with like-minded people for SOME aspect of our lives. For example, right now, I am focusing on building more success in my life, and so I hang out with people who have the kind of success that I have, or that I am striving for, or who who are traveling in the same direction as I am. However, doing so does not take away from the roots of who I am.

Who am I? As I said, I identify as bi-sexual. I have had both male and female lovers. I have also had transsexual lovers. I have helped loved ones to physically and psychologically transition from one gender to another. I have had gay friends for years. I even ran a counseling center for a few years called, the Alternative Sexuality Support Center. I worked not only with the GLBT population, but also with people involved with BDSM and other kink. I have dealt with all sorts of sexuality, and I have learned that, it doesn’t matter what turns you on sexually. What matters is the HUMAN BEING that you are. It’s the PERSON I care about.

Well, don’t let me stop there. I just revealed a major part of my life that I tend to keep under wraps. While I am at it, let me confess that I am also a PAGAN. I have been following the Druid path since 1991, but I think I was always a pagan. I was brought up in the Unitarian Universalist Church, and when I was in elementary school, my Sunday school teacher would talk about finding God in Trees and in the rain, and in nature, and honestly, I have always felt the presence of Spirit in more natural settings. It was only natural that the Druid path called to me. It’s who I AM. It’s in my SOUL. And there is nothing I like better than feeling my connection with the deities, the rhythm of the cycles of life, the honoring of all of nature. And not only am I PAGAN, but I am pagan CLERGY! I can and do marry people and perform all of the same passage of life services that any legal clergy performs! I have been running pagan services since 1992, and I currently head up a small druid church.

Why have I felt that I couldn’t tell people this stuff? Oh, there are definitely those who know. But those with whom I have a passing acquaintance or know from business…. most of them don’t know. Maybe it’s not necessary for everyone to know. But in my work as a coach, how can I possibly encourage others to be who they truly are if I am not?

Correct and continue.

This is who I am, and I love who I am. I love the love that flows in my heart. I love my caring for others. I love how I can see the good in just about anyone, and if I can’t, I know it’s because THEY are wounded… not that it isn’t there, it’s just covered up.

Have the courage to be who you are. Find your voice. Let the world know. It’s why we are here….

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 12, 2011 7:44 pm

    and I love who you are, Linda. Always have.

    • lindacostello permalink*
      December 12, 2011 8:49 pm

      Thanks, Patty. The feeling is mutual. 🙂

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